As you know Old Auntie was in the car wreck. Today I heard that my old reliable will probably be totaled (nothing official yet).
It got me thinking about how many things have changed in my life just in the last two years and how fate seems to be taking me even further into the unknown.
All my life has been spent caring for other people. My sister, mother, grandmother, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, children I helped raise.
But three years ago fate set a wheel in motion changing most of my known reality.
Now when it seems that the end of caring for other members of my family is near I gain a caring man in my life, lose my car, am thinking of moving out of the only home I've ever known and finding a better house to finish the rest of my life.
The feelings this brings are mixed. I gave up so many years on others never even daring to dream of what my future would involve. I'm sad that so many familiar things are leaving-- either in lingering deaths or painful crashes. I'm glad at the thought of a future that, hopefully, does not include the pain I have endured so many years.
The agony is losing the good as well as the bad.
Even my dear young Fairweather who has seen me through these times ultimately doesn't understand. I only hope fate protects her from ever going through these "trying times". (Yes a misquote of Dickens-The best of times/the worst of times speach and "these are the times that try mens souls").
You can be proud of Old Auntie though. I took down some things from the wall and put them in boxes so that when I do get another house they will be ready to move. A small thing but a start. As Kris Kringle says to the Winter Warlock it's "One foot in front of the Other".

Keep me in you thoughts my friends. This is perhaps the hardest thing of many that I've ever had to do.

Fairweather thinks I'm condescending on this one. I'm not really. In all my years of life I have been through things even she knows nothing about. I've seen her life go through very hard times as well. Yet there are things that I hope never happen in her life. Sorry if I offended Fairweather.

Well Ol Auntie has the winter blues or cabin fever I suppose. I stayed in most of the weekend with a bad case of sinusitis. Now today I was supposed to work but in the end still wasn't able to do what needed doing. The day is sunny but for all the way I feel it could be a blizzard outside. Somehow I wish I was in a sunny place with nothing to bring on the blues.

When I was a girl every four years there was a get together called the Sadie Hawkins Dance! Now back then girls weren't allowed to ask a young man out except on February 29th. It gained the name Sadie Hawkins from a character out of the Lil Abner comic strip....
My mother just about had a fit the first time she heard of girls asking a boy to go to the dance with her.
Personally I think this is the equivalent of box socials. Each guy knew which one his girl had packed and knew to get that particular basket. Only difference was she didn't know if the feller would go out with her. Guys go thru this too when first asking a girl out.
So on the note of remember this year is a leap year... Have a great Sadie Hawkins day!

The younger members of my family used this term for both the lemon and the SUV that I ended up with. Now I assume this is a good thing.
The lemon was a cool looking truck. Tan at the bottom and gradually undergoing a color change to a midnight blue at the top with a 7 cd changer inside and a remote control lid on the back. Cool as it used to be said.
The SUV is making me look, as I have been told, an older soccer mom minus the kids. But considering I usually have the younger nieces and nephews with me all I need is the soccer ball.

The man in my life is like a kid when driving it and would love to find a way to take it away from me but then again he is happier knowing I have the all wheel traction and won't have to yell for help if I get stuck somewhere. If he had his way it would be a mustang but since it is for me he is just glad that it is in good shape.

On my first outing alone I went to the local Walmart and parked far out in the lot away from other vehicles. Imagine my surprise when I came out and found three as alike as peas in the pod congregated together. Mine was pea number 2.

I'm really trying to get my act together but still start shaking when I see cars coming at me from side streets.

Keep your fingers crossed that I can get back to normal.

At the end of January I was in a wreck. Now neither the guy that hit me nor myself were so badly hurt that we had to stay in the hospital but it pretty well took care of my mobility for a while.
I had my old pontiac for a few years now and felt comfortable with it. That is until the guy in a brand new 2008 decided to eat and run a redlight at the same time. A word of warning here--no matter what time of day or night you are out someone can hit you even if you are doing everything you should.
For a week there I was a hindrance to all my loved ones--my family and the man in my life-- who insisted I was "hell on wheels" or in this case off them. Actually I believe I was in shock between the concussion, whiplash, and flashbacks where I closed my eyes and saw the green light and the blur that hit me.
At the end of the week I was determined to find a car, truck or whatever to get my life back to "normal". I convinced my old man to take me car hunting. We went to several used car lots in the lower corner of East TN. One such place was the local big Toyota place where they were having a moving sale. We found what we thought was a good vehicle. That is until we got part of the way home and found radiator fluid pooring from the block. Now TN has a lemon law that says these dealers need to give full disclosure when selling a car be it new or used. After some bs they said they would fix the problem to keep on our good side. But my man and I decided to look somewhere else. I'm glad I did because, frankly, if one thing was wrong with that lemon something else probably was and the vehicle I ended up with had half the miles and a warranty without adding a lot to what I paid for it.
Sometimes you have to do what has to be done. I'm back driving. Have even driven through the light where I was hit. Plenty nervous but happy to be rolling again even if I do miss the old wheels.